Post by SouthWestern Traders on Apr 20, 2019 17:14:37 GMT
"Why, he's as big as a wheel of cheese," The man told the tavern, which laughed in response, "And he has the shape of one too!" Quite a bit of the laughter was more likely due to inebriation than due to the story being any good. The man was a lousy storyteller, and he probably had lice too.
"Ahh, but never-mind me roasting the poor pig," the jokester continued, "He might be a big fat oaf, but he's sure as a cow's pie the best man around to get a good bite of food from. Can't get any bite of food from anyone else 'round here in these parts." A lot of the crowd just wanted a quiet drink, but the jokester was a regular at the tavern, so they put up with him all the same.
The tavern was a well-known location of interest in the parish of Cheddar. It had undergone numerous name changes throughout the years. This time around it had recently been renamed "The Wheel and Mouse", in reference to the Cheeserounds Kings new-found moniker. It had also made a large purchase of food from the supposed cheeserounds king. The food was selling like hot-cakes, but it was anything but. There was dried meat (naturally fermented prior to smoking and drying). There was delicious moldy cheese (intentionally moldy, supposedly). There were dry crackers (rehydrate with lager!). There was lager (don't thin it with water - it's already been thinned enough as is).
"Aye, if we want to eat through these times, we better pay the man for the food he has, and we better find some good ways to make some coin around here." The jokester finished. "Ain't no good way to make good honest coin, unless you wanna march north and fight the dead. Ain't much point in fighting the dead though, what with them being dead and all. You'd be better off fighting the barkeep's sister! You'll lose, of course, but you'll lose to a hot lass and not some walking bag of bones! Leave the bag of bones for the dogs to take care of!"
His jokes really weren't very good.
"Ahh, but never-mind me roasting the poor pig," the jokester continued, "He might be a big fat oaf, but he's sure as a cow's pie the best man around to get a good bite of food from. Can't get any bite of food from anyone else 'round here in these parts." A lot of the crowd just wanted a quiet drink, but the jokester was a regular at the tavern, so they put up with him all the same.
The tavern was a well-known location of interest in the parish of Cheddar. It had undergone numerous name changes throughout the years. This time around it had recently been renamed "The Wheel and Mouse", in reference to the Cheeserounds Kings new-found moniker. It had also made a large purchase of food from the supposed cheeserounds king. The food was selling like hot-cakes, but it was anything but. There was dried meat (naturally fermented prior to smoking and drying). There was delicious moldy cheese (intentionally moldy, supposedly). There were dry crackers (rehydrate with lager!). There was lager (don't thin it with water - it's already been thinned enough as is).
"Aye, if we want to eat through these times, we better pay the man for the food he has, and we better find some good ways to make some coin around here." The jokester finished. "Ain't no good way to make good honest coin, unless you wanna march north and fight the dead. Ain't much point in fighting the dead though, what with them being dead and all. You'd be better off fighting the barkeep's sister! You'll lose, of course, but you'll lose to a hot lass and not some walking bag of bones! Leave the bag of bones for the dogs to take care of!"
His jokes really weren't very good.