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Post by Meinwen ferch Cadwgan (MaC) on May 18, 2017 13:35:25 GMT
A new reporter enters the room and seeing the Blood Sacrifices weekly reporter in her path, swallows hard and steps over the charred remains. She looks around and loudly but to no one in particular exclaims in a monotone voice.
Colonial Press: "Ehm. We for one welcome our Aelven overlords. *Cough*"
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Post by ET (Kerberos) on May 18, 2017 13:44:11 GMT
A new reporter enters the room and seeing the Blood Sacrifices weekly reporter in her path, swallows hard and steps over the charred remains. She looks around and loudly but to no one in particular exclaims in a monotone voice. Colonial Press: "Ehm. We for one welcome our Aelven overlords. *Cough*" Elator: Excellent, you will do well in the new regime, don't worry about the mess, we really only kill ToB and Bayardian reporters. I suppose if Robogni or Upside Down sends someone we might kill those to, but the rest of you are quite safe, did you have a question?
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Post by Meinwen ferch Cadwgan (MaC) on May 18, 2017 14:06:50 GMT
Colonial Press: "..not at this moment."
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Post by Alined on May 18, 2017 16:58:51 GMT
"Yes, I'm not dead," agrees the Wessex Express reporter, before asking, "Why does everyone keep casting 'Color Spray'?"
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Post by ET (Kerberos) on May 21, 2017 3:13:40 GMT
"Yes, I'm not dead," agrees the Wessex Express reporter, before asking, "Why does everyone keep casting 'Color Spray'?" Eltaor: And a good thing that is too! If you were dead we'd be missing your wonderful.. Well whatever it is you do beside bleed.
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Post by Linde (x-GM) on Jun 11, 2017 11:53:21 GMT
Northern News: "We have come across Aelven troops who have chanted this song.."
Copies of the song is distributed: "1,2,3,4, The Mad Kings' head must adorn our door! 5,6,7,8, we no longer want to wait! 9,10,11,12, we'll send that fiends' spawn back to hell! 13,14,15,16, make the mad king eat his spleen! 17,18,19,20, then we promise to be friendly."
Northern News: "What is the official Aelven position regarding songs like this as tools of morale boosting among the Aelven troops? And what is the Aelven position regarding the content of this specific song?"
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Post by ET (Kerberos) on Jun 11, 2017 12:00:43 GMT
Eltaor: Thank you for your question. Songs have always played an important role in boosting moral and Aelven bards are known to be superior to all other nation though this can of cause be said for almost any Aelven endeavor. As for the content Umbria is willing to be flexible on various points. King palatin for example has requested that the Mad Kings' head be used as a door stopper in North Hold. we can accept any location of the Mad Kings head as long as it's unattached to his body. Also should the Mad king prefer liver to spleen that to can be arranged.
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Post by Linde (x-GM) on Jun 11, 2017 12:27:00 GMT
Northern News: "Thank you for clarifying. We have a short followup question: You are now showing intent to indulge the wishes of the Mad King. Is this to be taken as a new and friendlier stand towards him and his ilk?"
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Post by SouthWestern Traders on Jun 12, 2017 21:39:01 GMT
News Anchors International: We've heard rumours that cheese will now be accepted as currency in the Aelven kingdom. What kind of denominations can we expect, and will foreign cheeses be honoured?
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Post by X-Nemeth on Jun 12, 2017 22:19:31 GMT
Nemeth News Network: "To enlighten our colleagues i bring news: Cheese will soon be an adopted standard in Nemeth, but strangely enough, it is said that only very very distinct cutting of said cheese into exact sizes will be permitted. Any other sizes will be invalid, even if they originally had the right size. How the powers that be will manage this, considering handling the cheese over time is sure to change its shape, is currently a very very hot topic among the learned cheesedealers. We all hope they can come to an agreement quickly. But there is more! While the discussions quickly become very technical and boring, some might even call some of the proposals (and delegates) downright stinky, the reporters taking note of the discussions quickly learned that too many cooks melt the cheese in the wrong way. A very important piece of information, I am happy to share here in this forums."
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Post by Alined on Jun 12, 2017 23:30:26 GMT
"How can you... melt cheese wrong?" gasps the Wessex express reporter, fading in and out of consciousness. "It's... melted cheese..."
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Post by ET (Kerberos) on Jun 13, 2017 3:36:31 GMT
Northern News: "Thank you for clarifying. We have a short followup question: You are now showing intent to indulge the wishes of the Mad King. Is this to be taken as a new and friendlier stand towards him and his ilk?" Eltaor: I do believe that only dwarves would consider a suggestion that the Mad King commit suicide by autocannibalism a sign of rapprochement. I can only say that Umbria desires the death of the Mad King and his spawn to be the central issue, the exact methods are not overly important to us, and should the mad King Consume his own liver, his eminent death for that reason would in practical terms prevent him from subsequently consuming his spleen.
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Post by ET (Kerberos) on Jun 13, 2017 3:45:20 GMT
News Anchors International: We've heard rumours that cheese will now be accepted as currency in the Aelven kingdom. What kind of denominations can we expect, and will foreign cheeses be honoured? Eltaor: Will someone please restrict that mans access to wine, he seems to have had quite enough. Cheese as currency, what a preposterous notion! The Umbrian currency is and ever remains wood-based. Foreign woods are theoretically honored, but at an exchange rate that reflects the manifest inferiority of non Aelven wood. Bayardian wood is of cause an abomination as are all thing from that cursed land.
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Post by ET (Kerberos) on Jun 13, 2017 4:19:09 GMT
"How can you... melt cheese wrong?" gasps the Wessex express reporter, fading in and out of consciousness. "It's... melted cheese..." Eltaor: I will attribute your disbelief that anything done in Nemeth could possibly fail to go wrong to blood loss and not hold it against my estimate of your intelligence.
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James Holt (NT)
Northern Traders
Lord of Waffles, Master of the flight of Daggers
The Iron Bank of Albion
Posts: 366
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Post by James Holt (NT) on Jun 13, 2017 4:59:43 GMT
Muttering from the stands: "I saw cheese melted wrong once. The screams still haunt my nightmares"
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